They Should’ve Known She Was Trouble

From country to pop and immaculately curled to pin straight hair, Taylor Swift has gone through multiple changes over the last couple years. However, none as prominent as her rapid and tenuous love life. Plastered in the media since her genesis as a star, not to mention written in her not so personal journal of number one hits, her love life has now taken center stage. Since her first chart topper “Tim McGraw,” in 2006, Swift has dated eight star studded men and crushed on many more. If averaged out between the seven years, that would mean one and one fourteenth of a man per year. Serial dater, star-crossed lover, or seriously confused?

  1. Her self-titled album “Taylor Swift,” covers two anonymous boys in her life.  Swift began writing “Tim McGraw,” in her freshman math class after her boyfriend, Brandon Borrello, and she broke up. She recollects about the ‘bittersweet’ memories they shared listening to music, dancing, and looking at the stars. Sounds like a perfect date right ladies?  Sam Armstrong, another fellow high school classmate, inspired “Should have known” and “Picture to Burn” after she discovered Armstrong and another girl making out in his hot red pickup truck. Too bad Armstrong wasn’t prophetic and couldn’t see Swifts future, he “Should have known.”
  2. The Disney Channel stars and pop sensation, the Jonas Brothers, entered into Swift’s life in 2008. Joe Jonas inspired“Last Kiss” and “Forever & Always” after he broke up with Swift over a twenty seven second phone call. The reason behind the split was the exotic Camilla Belle, a girl who had been featured in the Jonas Brothers’ music video, “Lovebug.” During an interview with Perez Hilton, Swift revealed that “I’ve had a lot of guys complain about either things that I say about them in songs or things I say about them in the press,” no surprise there, “I think it’s kinda fun to call out your ex-boyfriends. Why do this if you’re not going to get the opportunity to always have the last word. It’s so much fun.” Swift came out with “Better than Revenge” showing exactly what she meant about having the last word, calling out Jonas for leaving her for Belle because  the latter was “better known for the things that she does on the mattress.”
  3. Taylor squared = Taylor Lautner + Taylor Swift.  Ironically, these two met on the set of “Valentine’s Day” and were cast as each other’s high school sweetheart—but their dating soon transcended the big screen. They dated for six months and ended things around January of 2009. Lautner inspired “Back to December,” a song, or rather apology that expresses regret about the circumstances of their breakup. This apology went down in Time Magazine as one of the best apologies of 2010.
  4. Now if it isn’t obvious for Swift and even John Mayer fans, “Dear John” was written about Mayer, who is known for being the professional heartbreaker. Mayer has dated Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Vanessa Carlton, Jessica Simpson, Cameron Diaz, Minka Kelly, Jennifer Aniston, Kristen Cavilleri, Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, Renee Zelwegger, and now Katy Perry (this mentions only a few). Dear John, you should have known that as a 32 year old man dating a teenager wouldn’t turn out too hot for you and Dear Taylor “[You] Knew [Mayer] was trouble when he walked in” so why did you date him?! (Yes “I Knew You Were Trouble”) was inspired by Mayer, just look at the guy she cast as the lead in the music video.
  5. After Mayer, Swift seemed to be still caught up in a dating older men phase. Next, she set her sight on much older movie star, Jake Gyllenhal. He spent $160,000 to have her flown over on a private jet for a date only to later break up with her over text. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” “State of Grace,” “All Too Well,”  “Girl at Home” and “The Moment I Knew” are rumored to be about him.
  6. AS the great nephew of late president John F. Kennedy, Conor Kennedy is practically American royalty. The only thing that broke these two up was their lack of time together. Since their breakup occurred around the release of her new album “RED,” no song has been released about him. But there are more albums and many more yet-to-be-written songs to come.
  7. Harry Styles, a part of the British boy band “One Direction,” dated Swift from fall of 2012 to the beginning of January 2013. While he spent 900 euros (1,200 American dollars) on her birthday present, she was rumored to have gotten him $100,000 worth of Beatles memorabilia for  Christmas. I wonder who was more invested? Seems a little much to spend on a four to five month relationship. The week they broke up Swift posted on twitter, “back in the studio again .  . . uh oh,” and we all know what that means. . . Let’s spend a brief moment in prayer for the late Harry Styles.

–  Sabrina Michael ‘13